Don't Read The Comments

Normally, I try and write with a level head.  I take a step back from the heat of a moment, calm my emotions, and present what I have to say in a calm and rational manner.  Today is not that day.

You might remember a post I wrote about a year ago, with just a few of my tangled-up thoughts about the Syrian refugee crisis.  Right after that, the horrible attacks in Paris happened, and I'm sorry to say that I stopped speaking out on the matter.  The fear in the world was too volatile, and my own fear of backlash towards my speaking out was too great.  But sometimes faith has to be greater than fear, "for God gave us not a spirit of fearfulness; but of power and love and discipline." (2 Tim. 1:7)

There is a local organization, called Canopy Northwest Arkansas, that was founded with the purpose of helping displaced refugees that come to our area to receive support as they acclimate to their new homes.  As the first group of refugees are preparing to move to Northwest Arkansas, the organization and resettlement efforts have gained some publicity, mostly through local news networks.  I know this, not because I watch the news (since we don't have cable, we survive on Netflix and Hulu), but because of the reactions, comments, and shares from friends on the online soapbox known as Facebook.  For every story on my newsfeed saying "so-and-so liked this article," there was another one following up with "so-and-so (whom I still love and respect) reacted to this article."  With an angry face.

Curiosity got the better of me, of course, so I clicked through to the comments to see what the local climate was towards these refugees.  The dark underbelly of the internet did not disappoint.

"Why are we helping them when there's still homeless people here that need help?"

"What about the hundreds of foster kids?  Don't they deserve to be placed first?"

"I hope these do-gooders are willing to let these parasites live with them, I bet after a week they'll be changing their tune."

"Why is this our problem?  They caused their own war, let them bomb themselves into oblivion."

The truth is, if you want to find out where the scared, xenophobic, petty people are hiding, all you have to do is put an article on Facebook about "scary foreign people" (italics added for sarcasm).  I'm fortunate enough to be surrounded by a group of amazing, loving people, so when I read words steeped in fear and hysteria, it honestly shocks me.  I forget how hateful we can be to each other sometimes.

I decided to post here, rather than 'feeding the trolls' online, so if you're someone who holds any of those opinions, consider this my open letter as a response.

If you genuinely want to help the homeless in our community, volunteer here:

http://7hillscenter.org/

If you want to help veterans wounded in the line of duty, start here:

https://support.woundedwarriorproject.org/

If you want to find out more about how to welcome foster kids into your home, this organization is an amazing resource:

http://thecallinarkansas.org/nwa/

If you are a Christian who thinks that our love should only be extended to people in our community, who share the same beliefs, traditions, and birthplaces, I'm not going to respond with my own words.  I'll leave you with these instead:

43 “You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbor’[a] and hate your enemy. 44 But I say, love your enemies![b] Pray for those who persecute you! 45 In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven. For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike. 46 If you love only those who love you, what reward is there for that? Even corrupt tax collectors do that much. 47 If you are kind only to your friends,[c] how are you different from anyone else? Even pagans do that. 48 But you are to be perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect."
(Matthew 5:43-48)

I can understand being afraid.  I spend all my time with my kids at the park counting to three, just so I know they haven't been abducted in the two seconds when I looked away.  I park next to the cart corral at Wal-Mart, so I can plunk two of my three kids immediately into a cart so they can't wander off in a dangerous parking lot.  I walk to my car after dark with my keys between my knuckles, just in case I'm attacked.  Whether I would actually be able to stab someone if necessary remains to be seen.  My point is, I understand wanting to be on alert, but at the end of the day, I'm not really in charge of my own or my family's safety.  God is.  And even if you're worried about living next to someone of a different religion, is it really the gospel if you spend your time and energy hating them?  If you say, "Muslims have killed so many Christians, so I hate you by association," are those the words of Christ, or your fear?

What if we acknowledged that most people don't leave their homes and families to travel via unsafe means to a strange culture because of a good situation?  If the U.S were to break out in a massive civil war, would we say that American citizens deserve to stay and die because their government caused a war?  Would you want to be the one who manages to move their family to safety, only to be greeted by hatred and racist slurs in your new home?

What could happen if these people, coming to our country out of their own desperation and fear, were showered with love?  What could happen if a group of people who might have been taught that Westerners were their enemy, were instead greeted with respect?  "Do I not destroy my enemies when  I make them my friends?" (Abraham Lincoln)

If you want to learn more about Canopy NWA's efforts, and how you can get involved in the refugee resettlement process, come hear from Emily Linn, director of Canopy NWA, during the Grace Collective Coffeehouse, this Sunday at 5:30 pm, at Grace Church NWA (2828 Crossover Rd. in Fayetteville).

Thrifted Pinterest - Commitment-phobe

Today's outfit is inspired by two pins:

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/216806169540909597/

OOTD - Transition

 The times, they are a-changin'...

Realizations for $200

“Things you say to your husband that you might also say to God.”

Answer: “What is ‘the extended name of this blog post?’”

Let me preface that title with a disclaimer: My husband is not God. Should be an obvious statement, sure, but I just wanted to get that out there! He and I are both flawed humans kept together by God’s grace, which is exactly the way I’d want things to be. Really, if we were a marriage of one flawed person and one perfect, it would be a very unhappy and short-lived one.

With that being said, I made a realization one recent weekend after the hubs and I enjoyed a post-date late-night drink while two of our three kiddos were at a sleepover. We were able to hold a conversation without the constant, beautiful interruption that is named KIDS. One of the things I treasure about Andrew is that he has a habit of professing his love to me (like, A LOT) when his inhibitions are lowered. I mean, really, who wouldn’t love that?

I realized, though, that what went through my head as he said all this didn’t match what I said in response.

For example:

He says: “I love you so much.”

I think, I am so undeserving of that, and it scares me to think of what losing that love would feel like. I love you too, but please don’t ever take that away.

But I say: “I love you too.”

You know that video/article that was shared on Facebook by, like, EVERYONE I KNOW a few weeks ago about the Japanese “Cube” personality test? If not, here’s your spoiler alert. I won’t share all of it, but in the first part of the test, you close your eyes and imagine yourself walking through a desert. You come across a cube. Now, how big is the cube, and what is it made out of? There are a few more questions after that, but that’s the beginning and the general gist. The size of your cube is the size of your ego, and the material represents how open you are with other people.

My cube is made of stone.

I would guess my husband’s biggest complaint about me is that I don’t share things. Unless I’m under extreme duress or I’m venting ALL THE EMOTIONS that have been bottled up for longer than I’d care to admit, I don’t share. At least, not verbally. He has gotten some carefully-worded letters in the past, but deep heart-to-hearts? Not an area that’s comfortable for me. And, even though God is the one who knows my every thought, I try to do the same things to Him.

He says: “I love you so much.”

I think, I am so undeserving of that, and it scares me to think of what losing that love would feel like. I love you too, but please don’t ever take that away.

But I say: “I love you too.”

He says: “You’re doing a great job as a wife and mother.”

I think, You’re kidding, right? Don’t you see the dirty dishes in the sink? If only I had the time and energy to do more, to serve you better. Then I would deserve that compliment.

But I say: “Thank you.”

He says: “My love is forever.”

I think, I know you think that now, but I’m waiting for the day that I screw up too badly, or do something to hurt you. Then you’d have no choice but to turn away from me. I hope that never happens.

But I say: “I’m so glad you love me.”

I almost didn’t make it to church the following Sunday. I was hungover, we stayed up too late, and if I didn’t have to pick up kiddos I probably would have stayed in bed. Sometimes, I think it’s okay to spend Sunday at home as a day of rest, but this was not that day. Every song from that morning’s worship set held the response to my hesitance to accept God’s love. I can mentally affirm that I am loved, and yet still wrestle with actually accepting it. So instead, God had me sing it.

I think, Please be patient with me, and I sing: “You’re rich in love, and you’re slow to anger.” (“10,000 Reasons”)

I think, Eventually I’ll screw up, and I sing: “Take me as you find me, all my fears and failures.” (“Mighty to Save”)

I think, There’s no way I could ever deserve this love, and I sing: “I’ve tasted and seen the sweetest of loves, where my heart becomes free and my shame is undone.” (“Holy Spirit”)

I think, This love is so strong that it scares me, and I sing: “All fear removed, I breathe you in, I lean into your love.” (“Sinking Deep”)

I think, What if I lose myself in serving you? and I sing: “Your love is better than life.” (“Kindness”)

And I think, All I have to give in return is myself, and I sing: “What can I say, and what can I do, but offer this heart … completely to you. … I’ll stand, with arms high and heart abandoned. … All I am is yours.” (“The Stand”)

I can only hope that God continues to chip away at my stone cube, and that there’s a smaller, softer one to be found inside. And I’m so thankful he loves me regardless.

This post was originally posted on Grace Church NWA's blog.  There are so many great posts to read, I'd highly suggest checking them all out!

OOTD - Toddler Grandma Style

You guys, you guys!  I've found my spirit animal!  Actually, it's not an animal, and can we just talk for a second about how overused the whole 'spirit animal' comment is lately?  "MMMM, chili cheese fries are my spirit animal, Kim K is my spirit animal, etc....."  No, just me?  Okay, I'll quit ranting.

But really, I must have been on the same wavelength as the writer of this great article, "'Toddler Grandma Style,' The Fashion Approach That Will Set You Free," because I wore this outfit last week, and didn't stumble across the article until today.  I'm not going to go into too much detail, because she did such a great job with articulating her points, so just read it already!  Also, here's my outfit:

OOTD - Two-fer

To make up for my lack of posting lately, my outfit for the day features a two-fer.  More specifically, I'm breaking TWO rules this summer, at least according to this silly little article.  In case you were wondering, both bedazzling and leopard print apparently have an expiration date: your 30th birthday, at least according to the original writer.  So, of course, little miss "leopard print is a neutral and, ooh look, shiny!" me had to go ahead and break both of those ridiculous "rules" in one outfit!

Greek Pasta Salad

Do you guys have any foods that you only crave at certain times?  I remarked to a friend once that I look forward to summer because that's when everyone makes pasta salad.  He replied that he wasn't aware that pasta salad was seasonal, but for me it definitely is!  It's just too hot outside to eat hot pasta, but I'm always craving pasta of some kind it seems, so pasta salad is the solution.  I whipped up a super savory version this last week, and it was just too easy and delicious not to share, so here's a quick recipe for ya'll.