These photos are going to look REALLY out of place with the cold snap we're going through here in the Ozarks. But, I wanted to include a few extra pictures that I snapped of the other members in our little clan, along with another outfit from the archives. Some pictures were taken willingly, some not so much, but they're all getting shared nonetheless!
(This is written in response to a thought-provoking message
given at my church by Matt Mooney of 99 Balloons. If you have a chance, you should take a listen! In place of Fair Trade Friday,
which I would usually post today, I felt like this needed to be shared.)
The girl in the middle is my sister, Teresa.
There was a time, when I was younger than I am now, that I
would not have publicly claimed her as a sibling. I used to be an angsty teenager that loathed
being related to someone so obviously different. I was focused on that lofty goal of being
accepted by my peers, and her disabilities, and the stares and comments that
went along with them, were in my way. Before
I accepted Christ’s love and redemption, I was a selfish being. I still am, but He is continually wreaking
havoc on my old nature in order to bring me closer to Himself. In his love, he gave me an opportunity right
after I accepted Him to beg her forgiveness for my unfounded anger when she passed
away a few years ago.
My sister came into our family when she was six months old,
after being violently shaken by her birth parents. Her brain had been damaged, and so as her
body grew, her brain remained stunted at an infant’s level. She relied on a wheelchair, as her legs and
left side were paralyzed from the trauma.
She couldn’t see or speak, but retained light perception and her
hearing. She needed constant care, which
my parents lovingly provided for the two decades of her life.
I wish I could say that despite my childish distaste for growing
up as the weird girl with the weird sister, everyone else we met was more
understanding. Quite a few people were,
and offered loving support to my family.
However, there were the people that stared. There were those that wondered very openly
whether we were wasting our time. My dad
shared a story once of some elder in one of our churches who asked, in so many
words, “Why bother? You could stick her in a home, since she doesn’t even know
what’s going on anyways.” My mother
would often stay home from church, since Teresa was apt to make loud,
inopportune noises during the service, and mom didn’t want to be a bother.
As Matt mentions in his message, those church services, the
meetings where the body reconnects with God and each other, were not complete
without Teresa in attendance. Every part
of the body (whether human, or church) is essential. Take away one part, big or small, and the
whole structure fails. As to whether or
not Teresa was aware of her surroundings, I witnessed so many times where her functioning
ears would hear my parents’ voices and her face would be almost split open by
her giant smile in response. She knew
she was loved.
I write all of this because I had a recent realization,
while trying to explain to lovely, curious, big-mouthed,
5-years-old-in-all-her-glory ‘Big A’ about the differences in people. She’s hit the age where she publicly (and
loudly, hence the big-mouthed comment) asks questions when she seems someone ‘different,’
whether it’s skin color, physical ability, or age. My usual response, said loud enough for
surrounding people to hear is, “God made everyone different, because life would
be boring if we were all the same.” Or,
“You know that even though we have different outsides, an X-Ray would show that
all our insides are the same.”
The thing is, people ARE different. We all have different attributes. The
problem arises when one certain attribute is deemed ‘worthy’ while those that
don’t have it are deemed ‘less than.’ I don't know if you follow Humans of New York, but you should. One of the most impacting series the photographer has done was when he toured poor or war-torn countries on a trip with the UN, chronicling the people he met through quotes and portraits. He managed to show the similarities in people, removing that idea of 'other' that we so often see in our media's portrayal of other countries. For example, when I think of the Middle East, the images I've seen are almost always turbans, camels, beat-up cars, and sand. But HONY's photog, Brandon, was sharing photos of parents and children, shopping malls, and daddy's who spoil their kids by bringing them dolls. He removed the 'other' and just showed people.
The heart-breaking shooting that just happened in Charleston came about
from the shooter believing that belonging to his race was superior, therefore
anyone that was different wasn’t deserving of life. As I attempt to raise my babies to be loving
individuals in this world full of craziness, I have to figure out for myself what
I believe about the rest of the world.
If I don’t process this for myself, how can I impart any teaching to
that volatile and impressionable next generation? Sesame Street did a great job, at least in
order to start a discussion, with this clip:
It may not seem like
a big deal, but in this clip, Elmo (the philosopher/monster that he is)
comments on race in the most matter of fact way possible. We have differences, but that doesn’t
determine our worth, our character, or our right to life. Skin is just skin, and the abilities we have
or don’t have are all just part of being human.
I’m still learning, but I have made a few realizations. Most I’ve believed all my life, but have
never taken the time to outline for myself or others.
Different isn’t ‘less than.’
Different is human.
Different is beautiful.
A person is not less worthy of respect, less worthy of love,
or less than human just because they don’t fit into a social group’s ideas of
‘normal.’ You can’t determine a person’s
worth by what category they fit into. And,
if we remove ourselves from anyone simply because they are ‘different’, we render
ourselves incomplete.
“So God createdmankindin his
own image, in the image of Godhe
created them; male and femalehe
created them.
God saw all that
he had made,and it was very good.”
Hey guys! I just realized it's been over a month since I've posted! And, in case you're wondering, no, there's no baby yet. And, in all honesty, that statement makes me want to stomp my feet and throw a toddler-esque tantrum. My go-to response when people ask me how I'm doing is "Eh, still pregnant." But, at least I get a baby out of the deal... whenever he gets here! I've officially hit the 'any day' point of the pregnancy, which means I've taken a hiatus from posting outfit pics (in case you haven't noticed!) At this point, I'm just glad to find things that cover my belly the whole way! I just wanted to update you folks out there reading on the internets, and let you know I'm still alive! And, don't worry, as soon as Baby A makes his appearance, I'll be posting proud mama pics of the little bugger. When he gets here.... *sigh*
Well, guys, it's been a while! I apologize for the extended blogging break, I just have been feeling a little under the weather lately. Before you start feeling too sorry for me, let me tell you the reason:
That's right! Our little family is about to grow again, and I'm so excited! This does mean I'll probably be posting a little less, at least until I get out of this first trimester... nausea all day every day is not something I experienced with my other two girls! But, be sure, I'll make an appearance from time to time, with baby updates, maternity fashion, and all the preparations. Until next time....
...maybe a handmade personalized necklace you got from a friend....
...when the kiddos whose names are on said necklace decide to join the party!
Then, another one shows up!
So, being the flexible, understanding mommy that I am (HA, if you know me, you know that's not true!), I just roll with it.
Good thing I've got these little ones around to remind me to SMILE!
Outfit Details for me: Sweater: Banana Republic, thrifted, $4 White Tank: Wal-Mart, $4 (old) Jeans: thrifted, DIY'ed to skinnies, $5 Shoes: Target, $7 (clearance) Scarf: local shop, $3 Earrings: Claire's, $2 (old) Various Bracelets: don't recall Grand Total: $25 Outfit Details for Big A: Dress: Cherokee, $4.50 Sweater: Crazy 8, $4.50 Tights: $1.50 Shoes: $6.50 Outfit Details for Little A: Dress: OshKosh, $4.50 Tights: $1.50 Shoes: TOMS, $12 Grand Total for girls: $35
All the girls' clothes are from our local Once Upon A Child. You should stop by and see me sometime! Not only do you get great deals, but you can also bring items in to re-sell and get store credit for new stuff! I didn't have to pay out of pocket for anything the girls are wearing here, I just brought in the items that they had outgrown, and used the store credit to get their new stuff. It's a pretty great system. (Disclaimer: yes, I work at the store, so I might have a biased opinion, but I honestly do think it's a great system. Try it out sometime!)
I wish I got along
better with other women. It’s not like I
start fights with people or anything, but it is hard for me to connect with
other members of my gender. It’s
especially hard when I start comparing my life to the other mothers.
There’s the mom at the farmer’s market with her homemade
canvas shopping bags bursting with beautiful organic green veggies you know her
children will eat without any sign of pickiness. Or, there’s the lovely family at church who are
just too nice and patient to ever imagine them yelling at their kids in moments
of frustration. Or, the tall blonde in her perfect clothes whose two blonde
girls are always perfectly dressed as well, in matching outfits less. There’s no way that I could be friends with
them, not while my life is so incredibly different. I submit the following confessions as
evidence:
Big A watches a lot of Dora, more than I’d probably like to
admit. The plus side to that is she can
now count to ten in Spanish, and knows that the verde stoplight means go, while rojo
means stop.
There are times that I wish I had decided to bottle feed,
just so I could claim my chest as my own again.
I have a beautiful, healthy baby girl, who happens to have a very
healthy appetite, and putting food in a bottle just seems easier.
On that same vein, some days I lament the fact that I really
can’t wear dresses for the next year, since they don’t really allow easy access
for feeding. That kinda sucks, since
some days my jeans just don’t fit right, and a dress would cover my new mommy
lumps and bumps a little better.
I am a terrible cook.
I really, really love food, but I’m not very good at preparing it. I’m hoping that practice makes perfect, but
when you’re a person that can screw up ramen (yes, it’s happened), I need to
keep the bar set pretty low.
But the most important truth in my life? I love my children. While pregnant with both of my girls, I was
riddled with doubts as to whether I would be able to handle motherhood. I looked at the other “mommy moms” and knew
that I could never measure up, and therefore I couldn’t ever be a good
mother. In the moment that my first
daughter was born, all those comparisons didn’t matter. I loved this little squirmy crying baby that
I had known for less than a minute more than anything else in this world. During the second pregnancy, I didn’t know if
I had enough love (and energy!) left to lavish on another child, which, if you’re
a mother you know, is a completely unfounded fear. Both of my girls are loved, and I make so
many decisions about our life based on my love for them.
You know what? All
these other moms that I compare myself to make most of their decisions based on
that same love for their children. I
know it seems cliché to say that love is a great equalizer, but most cliché’s
are based on truth. There is no reason
for me to distance myself from other women based on our differences, because
the truth is, we love our children.
The reason I say all this is because I don’t want to give a
false impression of our life on this little blog of mine. I don’t want to alienate anyone by giving a ‘perfect’
picture of our lives. I want to share
snippets of our lives, and usually what I’m inclined to share is the
positives. I’ll post recipes that I’ve
tried and actually succeeded in making.
I’ll upload adorable pictures of my beautiful children. I’ll talk about how much I love my husband,
and how he loves me back. I’ll be
sharing from the highlight reel of our life, while it’s actually full of
miss-takes and bloopers. I want you to
know that I am not a perfect mother or domestic diva, and can hope that by
admitting that, I can realize that other mothers are the same. I’m also vowing to begin building friendships
with all of you, based on the simple fact that we’re all humans called to love
each other in Christ. In the words of
Mister Rogers, “Won’t you be… my neighbor?”
I am a thirty-something full time mommy of three, who recently transitioned back into the full-time workforce as well. I also happen to have a love for fashion and uses any excuse to wear something shiny. I am loved by an amazing God, and an amazing man. I have been told by those close to me that my jokes are NOT funny, but that doesn't stop me from cracking myself up. Yeah, that's right. I'm actually laughing at myself right now!
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